Therapy for Perfectionism & Self-Doubt

Learn to Soften Your Inner Critic and Trust Yourself | Therapy for Women in Sacramento, CA & Across California

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Even when things go well, there’s still a voice in the back of your mind whispering, You could’ve done better. And it’s exhausting.

You never felt fully seen or accepted for just being you, so you worked hard to be “good” and do things perfectly. Underneath the surface, you’re tired of constantly questioning yourself. The pressure to be perfect feels relentless. 

You work hard to get things right, to avoid making mistakes, to meet expectations. But no matter how much you accomplish, that deep sense of self-doubt lingers, leaving you stuck feeling burnt out and ashamed for missing the mark yet again. 

Overwhelming self-doubt leaves you in constant overthinking-mode, questioning everything from if you said something weird at coffee with a friend, or if your boss thinks you aren’t really deserving of that promotion. Second-guessing every decision, you find it hard to take action, leaving you feeling paralyzed and defeated. 

You’re craving more ease and confidence, but instead, you feel stuck in a loop of self-criticism and doubt. 

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Maybe You:

  • Feel like you always have to be “on:” polished, prepared, and in control

  • Minimize your successes and fixate on what you could have done better

  • Are terrified of making mistakes and often feel like a fraud

  • Hold yourself to impossibly high standards, even when it’s costing you rest, joy, or peace

  • Constantly question whether your needs, feelings, or decisions are valid

  • Rarely feel good enough.  And when you do, it’s fleeting– the goalpost seems to move further and further away.

Anxious, overwhelmed, and stretched too thin? Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and find relief.

This perfectionism and self-doubt don’t just live in your thoughts — they impact how you show up in your work, relationships, and even how you relate to yourself. You overextend yourself and feel like you’re held back in life by all the doubt.

Deep down, you wonder who you’d be and what you really want without the constant pressure to prove yourself. You're ready for something different– a headspace that isn’t crowded with the fear of failing, of not being enough– but one that feels grounded, calm, and real.

You wake up feeling clear, purposeful, and balanced.

The voice of your inner critic and self-doubt are quieter, creating space for you to feel more present, connected, and actually able to trust yourself and the choices you make. You feel more empowered instead of afraid when new opportunities come your way.

Your confidence doesn’t hinge completely on how much you achieve. Even if something doesn’t go according to plan, you can roll with it, rather than feeling like it’s all your fault and your self-esteem is shattered. 

With less fear of making mistakes, there is more space to know and pursue what you actually want, try new things, rest, and savor feeling freer and lighter in your own skin.

You might even start to feel like that “good enough,” goalpost doesn’t keep moving so much, you replay conversations less and less in your mind, and trust that how you show up is enough.

Imagine a Life Where Constant Self-Doubt and Criticism don’t Weigh You Down

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Therapy is your space to set down the burden of constantly having to prove your worth and value, and embrace the truth that you are enough. 

Helping you build confidence and trust yourself: How therapy works

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If you’re reading this, I imagine you might feel a lot of resentment and frustration around the constant need to be perfect and that chronic self-doubt. I’ve been there, and I get it– it’s hard to feel so stuck.  

In therapy, we work towards understanding why perfectionism and self-doubt have become such key players in your life. Even the parts of us that we dislike the most are usually overfunctioning for a reason, often to protect us from hurts we’ve experienced. 

Our work in therapy is about getting to the root of why these parts have been driving the car, and extending empathy and compassion towards them, addressing the pain they’re trying to protect you from at the source. 

From there, we use EMDR to re-process the experiences and core beliefs that have kept perfectionism and self-doubt in the driver’s seat, so they don’t have to work so hard.

As you better understand these parts of yourself, and do the deeper healing to address them, you’ll find that these defenses soften, and you can start to accept yourself for just being who you are– not solely what you achieve.

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Therapy for Perfectionism & Self-Doubt can help you:

  • Identify what has kept you stuck in these patterns of thinking and feeling

  • Let go of the pressure to perform and cycles of burnout 

  • Empower you to try new things and make decisions confidently 

  • Learn how to stand up for yourself and express your needs 

  • Mindfulness skills that help you catch yourself before going down that shame spiral 

  • Feel more connected and at peace in your relationships 

  • Develop tools to talk to yourself differently when perfectionism & self-doubt arise

FAQs:

  • I get it– the perfectionistic, high-achieving parts of you have helped you gain the success you’ve had so far. In therapy, we aren’t trying to get rid of that aspect of you by any means. If you’re here, you know something has to change. You know that these parts can’t keep running the marathon of life at a sprinter’s pace; it just isn’t sustainable. Our goal is to help those parts slow down, address the fears fueling them, so that you can actually partner together with these parts, rather than feeling controlled by them. 

  • Absolutely! In therapy, we spend a lot of time unpacking that self-doubt and second guessing. We understand what causes the second-guessing and decision-making anxiety to show up so strongly, address it, and help you build trust within yourself.

  • Yes! If you’re struggling with constant checking, fixing, rumination, etc. this can feel like being thorough or responsible. However, if it feels difficult to stop, or you feel compelled to engage in these patterns, this can be a sign of OCD, which can be effectively treated with exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP). You don’t have to figure it all out on your own; we’ll work together to determine the way forward. Whether or not OCD is present, therapy can help you feel more confident and free from the mental loops you get stuck in.

To learn more about my approach, click here.

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