Therapy for People-Pleasing & Boundaries
Re-claim your voice, set boundaries without guilt | Therapy for Women in Sacramento & Across California
Therapy for the ‘Nice Girl,’ the Helper, the Peacekeeper
You’ve always been the dependable one—the friend who remembers birthdays, the partner who smooths things over, the daughter who never rocked the boat.
On the outside, it looks like you have it all together. But on the inside, you’re exhausted from the constant pressure to meet expectations, manage other people’s emotions, and avoid conflict at all costs.
Maybe You…
-Lie awake at night replaying conversations, wondering if you upset someone without realizing it.
-Feel anxious when someone is disappointed with you—even if their reaction is unfair or unreasonable.
-Say yes when you mean no, then spend the rest of the day resentful or overwhelmed
And when you do try to speak up or set a boundary, guilt rushes in like a tidal wave.
You’ve spent a lifetime making others comfortable. Now it’s time to get honest about what you need.
It’s not that you don’t have needs or opinions—it’s that somewhere along the way, you learned that prioritizing yourself came at a cost.
If you grew up in a home where love felt conditional—where a parent’s behavior consistently overshadowed your needs—you might relate to experiences with parent(s) like:
Drinking or substance use that created chaos & instability
Harsh criticism or high expectations that made you feel never enough
Self-absorption that left little room for your emotions
Emotional absence of a parent—or emotional over-reliance—that made you the caretaker
When a parent’s needs took up all the space, it makes sense that you learned to be “good,” and stay small to stay safe.
You may have become the adult in the room far too early, praised for being “so mature,” even as your own needs were overlooked or dismissed.
Over time, being overly responsible, agreeable, and self-sufficient became the only way you knew how to belong.
Now, even though you long for more honest, mutual relationships where your needs and boundaries are allowed to exist, too, you feel stuck in old patterns.
You might wonder: Why is it so hard for me to take up space? Why do I feel so selfish when I consider trying to set boundaries? The truth is, you were never meant to carry this much.
You deserve relationships where you can be fully yourself—without apology, without guilt.
Helping You Set Boundaries without Guilt: How Therapy Works
Therapy can be a space where you finally lay it all down—the guilt, the fears of saying ‘no,’ the constant peace-keeping. Together, we’ll help you move from over-functioning to feeling grounded, clear, and confident in your own skin.
My approach blends IFS, EMDR and attachment work to help you heal at the root—not just learn how to say no, but understand why it’s been so hard to speak up in the first place.
We’ll gently explore the parts of you that learned to people-please as a way to stay safe, and offer them new tools, and compassion so they don’t have to work so hard anymore.
EMDR helps process the painful emotional residue from early experiences that fuel your current struggles with boundaries, people-pleasing & self-esteem so you’re not just intellectually aware of your patterns, but actually feel freer in your body and nervous system to make changes.
Therapy for People-Pleasing & Boundaries can empower you to:
Set boundaries without guilt or over-explaining
Say no with confidence—even when it feels uncomfortable
Prioritize your needs without feeling selfish
Let go of the pressure to keep everyone happy
Feel more secure and grounded in your relationships
Trust that you’re worthy of love—without having to earn it
Build self-esteem, helping you feel embrace your capabilities and explore what you want
Feel less responsible for how others feel—and more in touch with how you feel.
You don’t have to keep making yourself small.
Find freedom from people-pleasing and boundary struggles today. Work with me
FAQs:
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If you’ve found yourself constantly putting others' needs ahead of your own, feeling guilty when you try to set boundaries, or overwhelmed by the pressure to keep everyone happy, therapy could be incredibly helpful. It’s also a good fit if you’re dealing with anxiety from trying to be “perfect” or “easy to please.” Therapy can help you break free from these patterns and begin living authentically, with more self-trust and emotional freedom.
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Feeling nervous is completely normal! Therapy is a safe, non-judgmental space where you can go at your own pace. I’ll meet you where you are, with compassion and understanding. That people-pleaser part of you may show up in the therapy room, and that’s ok– therapy is a great space to start addressing these struggles because it is a safe place to process and try out new communication skills. Over time, as we get to know each other more, you’ll begin to feel more at ease.
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Therapy with me is collaborative and supportive. We’ll start by exploring your unique experiences—particularly how early relationships and family dynamics shaped your people-pleasing patterns. We’ll use a blend of IFS, EMDR, and attachment-focused therapy to help you heal at the root. Expect to work on practical skills, such as setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and building confidence in your decisions. Over time, you’ll notice more peace, clarity, and empowerment in your daily life.
To learn more about my approach, click here.
Areas of Expertise:
Struggles with people-pleasing and boundaries can show up in all types of relationships. In my work, I’ve observed that these are a few of the most common roles and dynamics, from childhood and in adulthood, that lead to these types of patterns:
Growing Up Around Addiction: Support for adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) and navigating the challenges of relationships with family members who experience past and/or present struggles with addiction.
Burnout from Caregiving: Helping those who feel exhausted and overwhelmed from always taking care of others, often at the expense of their own well-being.
Navigating Adulthood as the "Responsible One": Support for those who grew up in a family where they had to take on adult responsibilities too early, and are now feeling the weight of that role in adulthood.
Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents: Support for those who grew up with parents who were emotionally unavailable, overly critical, or immature, and how to heal and create healthier relationships as an adult.
